This topic was more difficult than I thought it would be because I have not worked since the year of 2009. My family and I transferred (military) to Hawaii while I was pregnant. I decided to take advantage of those times and I earned my BS in Psychology; got pregnant again and decided that I wanted my masters in ECE. Therefore, I will discuss a conflict that I had with my last employer in Virginia. I used to be a massage therapist and was very good at my job. However, this became a blessing and a curse. I was in high demand and had a greedy employer. I discussed that my absolute maximum could be six hours of massage because it is very taxing on the body especially if I have a couple of extremely obese clients. After a while, she completely ignored me and worked me to death. On top of that she would always print my paycheck wrong. For three straight weeks I went to her and explained that she miscalculated my hours and my paycheck was short by about $250-300. She would say something to the effect of, "I'm so sorry, would you like me to write a personal check or could you wait until I speak with my accountant?" Of course, I would say, I can wait! She followed through, but after working so hard, you can understand my frustration with expecting a huge paycheck because of all the hours she made me work.
A couple of conflict management strategies that would have been more effective would have been:
to use the win win approach which simply states that I want to win and I want you to win too (Conflict Resolution Network, n. d.). I could have approached her by explaining how grateful I am for the work and that I have so many loyal clients, but in order for us both to win, could you not schedule so many on one day because I am beginning to have back problems.
also by actively listening to her regarding my paychecks I would have seen the clear picture through her body language which would have told me that she was in trouble financially.
A couple of months after these incidents (there were other employees who experienced the same problem), she informed us that she was going out of business because the were raising the rent prices too high on her building and she could no longer afford to run the business. I found another job shortly thereafter at a higher end spa and was grateful for the learning experience because she took a chance on someone that was fresh out of massage school.
Reference:
Conflict Resolution Network. (n. d.). CR kit. Retrieved from: http://www.cmhg.org/pages.php?
4 comments:
Cheryl, I can see how that must have been really frustrating for you. It was apparent your employer was taking advantage of you. One other strategy that may have been helpful is the development of options. After reading about this strategy is appears to be a straightforward and logical method. It describes goal setting-what is the outcome we want and brainstorming solutions to name a few skills. It seems to consider both sides of the conflict. It asks the question if all needs of all parties are met. This is especially helpful in conflict resolution.
I am sorry that you were put into the situation and the choices you had to make. I too use the win win approach, especially with colleagues to ensure that the result of a conflict does not affect our relationship at work. How do you think you will use these strategies of conflict resolution in your EC community? Also, do you think the work force has changed since you last working and how has your perspective changed (if it did) towards conflict resolution?
Cheryl,
First off thank you for sharing. It was nice to see how someone deals with difficult situations because it just shows their strength. Even though you would have liked to deal with this situation differently I believe under the pressure of the moments that was just a natural reaction. We as humans really have to pay attention to these sort of things so we do not have to look back and say how could I have done this difference.
Thank you for sharing,
Lauren
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