Communication Evaluation

The communication assignment this week was quite interesting.  All of the scores from myself, husband, and two girlfriends were within four to five points of one another.  However, the consistencies were not the results that I expected!  My verbal aggressiveness scale scored me very high and significant in that with little provocation, I could attack a person verbally which can be hurtful to those listening to me and the test revealed that I often resort to character attacks and ridicule those who do not share my viewpoints.  The shocking part of these results were that they came from everyone who took the test including myself.  I have always thought of myself as quiet and respectful of others.  Yes, I can become defensive when I am attacked, but that is rare.  This week I have learned to not be so defensive without listening effectively and I have learned that I have a severe case of communication anxiety.  I realize that I need to work on myself more (self-concept) to overcome this fear.  I want to do many things in life that will more than likely lead me to speaking in public a lot; therefore, I have to work on building my confidence so that I can be an effective communicator.

Research that Benefits Children and Families--Uplifting Stories

I chose to share a positive example of research regarding the children of military families.  Many people feel bad for children who experience being away from a parent for long periods of time because of deployments to Afghanistan, other middle eastern countries, and going out to sea.  This particular article highlighted the positives of children who have to endure parents who return from war with PTSD, injuries, and simply trying to adjust back to family life after being away from them for nearly a year.  The children are actually very well-rounded because they have support groups surrounding them.  The military is really good at having monthly family readiness group (FRG) meetings that informs the family of what is going on with their loved ones.  They also become involved in projects such as sending out shoe boxes of necessities for the military personnel, designing posters and anything that also helps to keep up the moral of the Sailors and so forth.  There still needs to be more research articles to help enforce more policies and programs that aid in the positive development of the children, but this article is a great start (Cozza & Lerner, 2013).  This was a great article because as a prior military member who went on deployments away from my ex-husband and now on the opposite end of the spectrum as a military spouse with three children, I can relate.  It is difficult to adjust to family life after being away on deployments for so long although you're very happy to be back home, the military lifestyle is totally different.  As a spouse, I can relate to my husband because I have been there.  The children are happy when their father returns home, but they do suffer a bit while he is away.  This also makes them stronger and become "the men of the house" while their father is away.  I have to adjust also because when my husband is away on deployment, I go into schedule mode because I am doing everything alone.  When my husband returns, he is the fun guy and kind of throws thing of balance, but I really don't care because I am so happy that he's back and in his right mind.

Reference:
Cozza, S. J., & Lerner, R. M. (2012, Fall). Military Children and Families (23)2. Retrieved from: http://futureofchildren.org/publications/journals/article/index.xml?journalid=80&articleid=587

Communication Skills

Do I find myself communicating differently with people from different groups and cultures?
If yes, in what ways do I communicate differently?

I would say that overall I communicate the same regardless of whom I am speaking.  I feel that I am approachable and have a down-to-earth personality.  My philosophy is to always be myself and be respectful of others and you can pretty much draw anyone in.  However, depending on who I am speaking to and in what context it may be in, I communicate differently.  For example, when I was in the military, I spoke more professionally with my commanding officer or any senior officer than I did with my colleagues.  When I am speaking to my close friends, I am a little more relaxed in my speech and more comfortable.  I always enunciate and use the correct grammar with my children because they follow our example.  If I am speaking with a stranger or someone of a different race I also enunciate and speak very clearly, while being myself.  My first tour in the military was in Italy.  I noticed that I would always sound like an Italian when I would speak to them or if I'm talking to someone from China or Mexico, I tend to pick up that dialect.  I don't know why I do it, but I know that it has to be annoying to them.

I think I'm an effective communicator because I tend to adapt my style of communication according to how I feel the other person wishes to be treated also known as the Platinum Rule (Beebe et al, 2011).  I base this on observing their body language and their comfort level.  I also listen for things that I may have in common with someone and go from there.

Beebe, S. A., Beebe, S. J., & Redmond, M. V. (2011). Interpersonal communication: Relating to others (6th ed.). Boston, MA: Allyn & Bacon.

Communications Assignment- The Brady Bunch

I chose to observe the Brandy Bunch which is a show that I've only watched a few times throughout my lifetime.  I was pretty proud of myself because my nonverbal observation of the show was pretty close to the verbal or non-muted version.

Muted version
When I watched the muted version, which was a very weird experience, but interesting....my attention was captured immediately and I remained glued to the television because I was afraid that I would miss something significant.  The show began with what I presumed to be two sisters in the mirror.  One of them had a fancy hairdo and was modeling, so I assumed  that she was preparing for a date.  The younger sister was mimicking her actions.  Then she walked into another room where he oldest sister was on the phone speaking with what I assumed was a boy about a date.  The younger sister appeared to be taking mental notes on the conversation.  The plot of this show appeared to be a younger sister wanting to be like her two older sisters.  One of the brothers overheard the conversation and appeared to take on the role of a secret admirer by sending his sister random gifts.

Non-muted version
I was right in my presumptions for the most part.  At the beginning of the show the two sisters, Jan and Cindy were in the mirror.  Jan the older sister was modeling her hairdo and asking Cindy if she looked dreamy.  Cindy tried to mimic her and Jan said, "you're just a baby."  When she went to her oldest sister Marsha's room, she was on the phone with a boy.  The boy was asking if he could buy her a soda on the following day.  Cindy mentioned that she wanted boys to buy her a soda sometimes because she gets thirsty too.  Cindy said, "you're just a baby" and your time will come soon enough.  All of this "baby" talk made Cindy upset.  Her youngest brother decided to become her secret admirer and began sending her gifts which I was correct about in my non verbal observation of the show.  He was caught in his actions while trying to hide the next gift.  However, in the end, he bribed this young boy at his school with .50 to come over and pretend to be Cindy's secret admirer.  They ended up being great play dates and the boy (Tommy) gave the youngest brother his .50 back and told him that he did not need money to play with Cindy because she was great.

I feel that I have always been a good observer because I was such a quiet child.  Therefore, even if this were a show that I was familiar with, I think my observational experience would have been similar in nature.

My Personal Research Journey

The topic that I have chosen to research is the achievement gap and possible ways to remedy this problem in the preschool years.  My subtopic for this week was attempting to figure out why there is such a huge achievement gap between the races.  I almost gave up on this topic because I now realize how broad of a topic it is.  One subtopic led to another and kept going on and on!  This topic has become so interesting to me and once I began to research my topic of interest, I find another one that I'm interested in......I have about twenty subtopics that I will have to narrow down by the time I reach my final paper.
This is also the first time that I have conducted research from the school library which was a process in and of itself.  If you were researching this topic, what would you as an educator, director, or future educator want to know?

Competent Communicator in my Life

I have chosen a previous pastor where I used to attend church in Jacksonville, FL.  My husband and I were there for only three years because of military obligations.  He was a competent communicator within the context of his church.  As a younger person at that time, attending that church changed my life.  His messages resonated with me throughout the week (not just on Sundays) and made me want to be a better person.  Whenever I was faced with difficult situations with people at work or while I was out and about, I would speak to them with respect even when "going off" on them would have been warranted.  I have become an honest person, good wife and mother, and someone with great character who genuinely cares about well being of everyone around me.  Of course I still have things to work through, but he is one of the people who definitely helped to shape me into the person I am today.
I would say that he is an effective communicator because his messages stay with you longer than one day.  When a person has the ability to really make you look into yourself and become constantly aware of your behaviors, I would say they are effective.  I would love to model some of my communication behaviors after him because that would make me an effective early childhood educator.  If I can have a positive impact on at least half of the children that comes into my path, I will be a happy person.